Hello again! I have been busy with my personal story of life! Many things have shifted in my story and of course I have some observations to share about. Nothing too serious, just life and death. I ponder these things a lot… It’s my nature to do so and sharing these perceptions is also my natural way of being.
This blog post is my dedication to my mother and all those in a slow exit from this shared world. Although most of us are all in a slow exit of sorts, she has dementia and in the few years since her diagnosis (and the decade prior to that), I’ve witnessed as her brain atrophies and she no longer perceives the way she used to. Her world changed and essentially disappeared. First her personality transformed and then one by one the definitions for things faded away. The moment I knew something was very wrong was years before we were able to get a diagnosis. She completely lost the meaning of what cherries were. It was as though a cosmic eraser had removed all traces of this knowledge from her internal library.
Seeing her always reminds me that this precious temporary journey will end. What matters most to me is making use of the awareness I have before it’s gone. Life is always bringing opportunities for you to see yourself because you have created this wave in consciousness that reflects back to you. This expression into matter is the life force illuminating, creating and propelling the atoms that make up each cell of your body. At some point this expression, like a wave on the shore, must return back from whence it came. In some ways life is like holding our breath in the illusion of time. When the moment comes to return to the source, it is a grand and glorious exhale. Our consciousness is all that moves, returning to a point of view of oneness.
We perceive through our senses, yeah everyone knows that! So let’s take a breath, and feel the organism of you experience that breath. (Yes I just came back from hot yoga). Really feel the influx of air, how does it feel as your ribs expand? Can you feel the energy in your fingers and toes as the oxygen fulfills the need of your cells? In every moment you are expressing life through every cell that makes up the universe of you. You are the Creator. How can there be free will to create and you not be the creator? It’s impossible.
Our senses perceive gravity and direction, up-and-down. We descended to this physical realm and the legend is that we ascend into heaven. But there is “no there out there” as my Ma would say. Everything is you. You the creator have manifested your light into a being that is guided by the laws of gravity. The mysteries of light and shadow, nuanced and swirling elements in the mind. The density of the body is the furthest reach of this line of light. Through this force of Will we express into this physical world for a period of time. Every moment is an adventure we create and piece the story together with our senses. We can thank our beautiful brains for the discrimination and processing that puts the pictures of our story together.
The brain is the machine projecting the movie of my life as it flows from the source of consciousness. For my mother, her movie is slowly ending bit by bit and now there is nothing left. It’s as though the movie is over and there are just endless credits rolling on the screen with no story there anymore. The force of life is in a slow-motion retreat, exiting the structure incrementally. As her life force ebbs, she drifts farther and farther away, only the wave never returns back to shore where I reside. She is already on the other side of the veil. The rest of her has not completed the process yet. Eventually all the energy that is entangled in this human expression will be re-absorbed. It may look like a sudden event for her body (or not) when she returns to that light. However it has been a process of tiny shifts as her essence is “Ascending” to the source. The essence of her is unchanged and always perfection.
Each one of us is a divine stroke from the source. And we are just perceiving the ribbon of light that makes up the story of our life as we witness it. But it’s already happened and my own light is retreating as I speak and I don’t know the moment when I merge back into the source of myself. Because I perceive time and space, it feels like a long linear story, but in truth it’s a momentary blink of the Divine eye. Let’s dive into the pool of living! Let’s cherish the experience and all it has to teach us about ourselves. As each crystalline bubble of consciousness floats to the surface in the champagne glass of life. Embrace it all. I hope you are with me as you read this, it’s a love letter to life, so beautiful precious fleeting and amazing!